CHASTITY is a desirable element in marriage. Unfortunately, as utopic as this is in marriage, more often it is absent. This article is intended to expose some of the signs of a cheating husband and encourage the erring husband to renew his temperance and virtue.
The last but not the least is the tendency for a man to be overly protective of his phone. A man who has something to hide guards his phone religiously. He will flare up when someone touches his phone. This is a clear indication that there are skeletons in that cupboard. Men like these hold on tenaciously to their devices. They take their phone along even when they bath or use the toilet.
The mobile phone was invented by Martin Cooper in 1973 but mobile phones became commercially available in the 1980s. The advent of this device has changed lives and now it is difficult to imagine live without the mobile phone. This device will be used to analyse the seven key indicators of a cheating husband.
First, we will consider silent stroke the flight mode: For an average person, it is expected that your phone will ring at least once in three to five days. If you notice that your husband’s phone doesn’t ring for a long time. Confirm if it’s on silent, flight mode or switched off.
This kind of silence is too loud and suspicious. If it’s always on flight mode then understand that you are not the only passenger on that plane. There are other passengers aboard the plane.
Next is the wrong number calls: Phone numbers are in digits. One mistake can take you to another number. Thus, it’s not uncommon for a wrong number to call. But again, there is a caveat. If you notice that your husband is always receiving calls from wrong numbers then you have reason to be suspicious.
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Cheating men usually speak in codes and if you are not attentive you may not know. “Wrong number” may mean ” I am home with my wife.”
Bad network connection: Sometimes a man receives a call and he immediately leave where he was standing as if in search for better network connection. We understand that connectivity can be a problem sometimes but again if this becomes a habit then the devil is in the detail.
If you use the same telecom service provider, let’s say MTN, Glo, etc., check the network bars on your phone to ascertain if connectivity is bad or otherwise. Bear in mind that connectivity sometimes depends on the type of device you are using. Don’t be quick to judge here.
Furthermore, is the “I will call you back” syndrome: There are moments when someone is in the middle of a serious matter. In situations like these, it is an act of politeness to tell a caller that you will call back.
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At home a man might be enjoying quality time with his family and in order not to be distracted he could promise to call back later. This is normal. However, if this becomes too much, then something is not right. I warn that you do some due diligence before you conclude that your husband is cheating.
What should a woman do if she realises that her husband is a cheat? I don’t know. But I know what she shouldn’t do. That is to leave her marriage! This is usually the first impulse. In the face of betrayal by a spouse, the feeling is just to abandon the marriage and leave the relationship. It takes a lot of time and effort to build a home. Throwing all away in the heat of a moment is not smart. Like they say: “It is not what happens to us that matters but how we react to it.”
If you have the liberty of picking your husband’s calls, then another bad omen is when people hang up on the other end when you answer your husband’s phone. It is more worrisome if the voice on the other end is a female’s. You see, the thing is, the guilty are afraid. When a woman calls your husband with a bad motive, she is shocked if another woman answers the phone. The first reaction is to hang up and process the situation.
If this happens very often, then there is reason to be suspicious. If the motive is chaste, she would have no reason to hang up. She will probably greet you and politely ask to speak to your husband. A sensible woman will proceed to clear your doubt by introducing herself and explain why she wants to speak to your husband.
The last but not the least is the tendency for a man to be overly protective of his phone. A man who has something to hide guards his phone religiously. He will flare up when someone touches his phone. This is a clear indication that there are skeletons in that cupboard. Men like these hold on tenaciously to their devices. They take their phone along even when they bath or use the toilet.
To such men, an attempt to touch their phone is like attempting to touch their eyeballs. If all the above signs and wonders are present in a man, then there is no doubt that such a man is cheating.
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What should a woman do if she realises that her husband is a cheat? I don’t know. But I know what she shouldn’t do. That is to leave her marriage! This is usually the first impulse. In the face of betrayal by a spouse, the feeling is just to abandon the marriage and leave the relationship. It takes a lot of time and effort to build a home. Throwing all away in the heat of a moment is not smart. Like they say: “It is not what happens to us that matters but how we react to it.”
If you discover that your husband is cheating on you, rewind and reset your mind. I know of a woman that includes condoms when she packs her husband’s belongings on a trip. She encourages him to protect himself and the family. This sounds weird but it works for this family.
Naturally, you will be upset and, in fact, you have the right to. But avoid acting when you are angry. Take time to process the situation and ask yourself these critical questions: Is your husband providing for the family? Does he love you and the children? If both answers are yes, then do not leave your home and make the devil rejoice.
Do not be overtaken by emotions. Your family is more important than a mistake of infidelity. Come to think of it, some women marry men who are already married and live happily ever after. The man draws a timetable for them and they are happy. It is about the mindset. If you reason positively even in worst case scenarios, you will see silver linings behind every cloud. Thus, you are more likely to take decisions that are practical and beneficial in the long run.
To me, if a man is not abusing a woman physically and provides for his family, then it’s not wise to divorce him on the basis of infidelity. Physical abuse can lead to death so a woman in an abusive relationship can flee for her life.
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If you discover that your husband is cheating on you, rewind and reset your mind. I know of a woman that includes condoms when she packs her husband’s belongings on a trip. She encourages him to protect himself and the family. This sounds weird but it works for this family.
Many women that left their marriages have regretted. It’s like changing an old craziness for a new one. Recently a popular Nigerian musician went on social media to announce that she regretted leaving her marriage.
It is always wrong to take a decision when your head is not clear. God understands the emotional pain a spouse suffers from a cheating partner. That is the only basis, scripturally, where God allows for divorce. But even here, the Bible encourages forgiveness. The innocent partner can forgive the erring one.
Godwin Aondohemba Abeghe, Life Coach, is a graduate of the University of Jos and a prominent speaker on Family and Family Relationship. He lives in Lagos, Nigeria and can be reached via email: torjomabeghe@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +234 705 257 1353. This column features every fortnight under the label, ‘jPage Frequency’.
