THE CREATOR, in His infinite wisdom, created marriage so that humans could enjoy fellowship. “It is not good for a man or woman to be alone.”
This statement is apt and true. Whoever disagrees is just bluffing. I understand when abnormality turns into a new normal. But we must call a spade a spade.
Insults have a way of killing appetite, you know. Only very strong men eat in a myriad of insults. Very often, the man becomes hungry in the midst of plenty.
As blissful as marriage may seem, the euphoria and enthusiasm and everything in between that precedes marriage, it can sometimes, yes, most times, be hit by challenges. One of these is the loss of the ability of the man to provide for his family. Please understand that this responsibility is essentially that of the man. However, things may go wrong and the paradigm is de-constructed. The woman is then compelled to take up the responsibility.
Note that by default, women are not wired to carry this responsibility. Thus, when it is forced on their shoulders, many find it difficult to bear. In most cases like these, the man suffers a lot. He may have to endure verbal abuse and sometimes hunger.
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Insults have a way of killing appetite, you know. Only very strong men eat in a myriad of insults. Very often, the man becomes hungry in the midst of plenty. God has created everything beautiful. He has endowed the woman with a short memory. At critical times like these, the women may forget completely the man’s efforts of provision and protection in the past.
In extreme cases, even the children are brain-washed to believe that the man is totally useless. Please, don’t ask me why women are wired that way. I have no clue.
At this point what options are on the table for the man? I don’t know much but this I know. The man should never stay at home and isolate himself. This could lead to depression and death. And if that happens the woman will cry the most. She will receive consolation from sympathizers.
There are women who will privately give money to their unemployed husbands to take care of bills in the house and save face before their children and neighbours.
If only men could speak from the grave, the man would say: ” Don’t mind her she contributed to my death!”
Hold it! Hold it! I know many are eager to debunk my claim. The case highlighted above is a worst-case scenario.
I know of homes where women picked up this responsibility of providing for the family and, to the glory of God, they did a good job.
In some cases, the unemployed man is even audacious enough to shout at the woman providing and flex his muscles to assert his authority. Psychologically he is insecure and perceives that his authority might be challenged.
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There are women who will privately give money to their unemployed husbands to take care of bills in the house and save face before their children and neighbours.
For such angels in women’s body, each time a child makes a demand on them, they re-direct the child to the unemployed husband.
To men with such women, I suggest, and strongly too, that when you count your blessings, count these women twice.
Godwin Aondohemba Abeghe, Life Coach, is a graduate of the University of Jos and a prominent speaker on Family and Family Relationship. He lives in Lagos, Nigeria and can be reached via WhatsApp on +234 705 257 1353. Abeghe will be writing this column every fortnight under the label, ‘jPage Frequency’.
