IT used to be that when one falls sick, it is only close relatives and few others, mainly neighbours, who would know. Then suddenly with the social media, it has become almost like a competition to reveal one’s ailment or others’. And that is the problem.
Some people like privacy and don’t like their personal affairs broadcast on social media for everybody to read or even see, in case of pictures, including their enemies.
What brought this about is that somebody fell seriously sick and hid it from close friends until they just had to know when she had to travel abroad for surgery.
Her explanation was that she didn’t want it revealed on social media platforms. Meanwhile, before you knew it, somebody had already posted on their school group that the woman was sick and she needed prayers.
This is not however to discourage raising funds to help other people in need. Somebody told me that in her estate they raised a lot of money to help somebody who was sick. It was a big estate of two hundred houses. Every house was asked to give N1,000 and some gave more than that.
“That is exactly what I don’t want. I can say it myself if I want to and the annoying thing is that it will be forwarded from one group to another,” she said sadly.
However, some people may not mean to hurt by spreading the news of other people’s ailments, they only want to make as many people as possible to know and offer prayers, but it is always better to seek the person’s permission.
If it is a matter of crowd funding, it is different, but it too should be with the permission of the person, because sometimes you see recycled pictures of very sick people with somebody asking for donations on their behalf, which may or may not be true.
Few years ago, a video of a cleric on a hospital bed with a bare chest went viral, which I felt was in bad taste, to say the least.
Also few years ago, when somebody had surgery, the doctor took a video of him so that he would send it to his anxious family, and it soon went viral, from one person to another and on to groups. Apparently, the doctor at that time may not know it would go ‘viral’. People have thrown caution to the winds and don’t think of the repercussion of such exposure.
So, who should know when one is sick, particularly a terminal one? In some cases, some people hide their sickness even from close relatives. They forbid their children from telling anybody. They go for their treatments silently until it cannot be hidden any longer. And at that critical time, relatives are shocked and angry, but that is their wishes and it should be respected.
Even though a friend told me that she couldn’t hide such a thing from her relatives and close friends. “I cannot do that,” she insisted.
“You know some people don’t like people to be talking about them and if other people learn about it and go and see them, they would say people are spreading the sad news about them,” I said.
Somebody may not have seen his classmate for thirty or so years, but when he hears that person is seriously sick, he would go and see him. Some may not like it, they feel that after so many years without interacting, but as soon as they fall sick, these classmates go to see them and for what? To sympathise or to carry the tale farther? Such as, “Have you seen how… has become, may God help us.”
I think people should be allowed their dignity and not be a subject of pity and discussions. Their emaciated body should not be exposed for all and sundry. That is the very reason some choose to die silently without the fanfare of social media.
This is not however to discourage raising funds to help other people in need. Somebody told me that in her estate they raised a lot of money to help somebody who was sick. It was a big estate of two hundred houses. Every house was asked to give N1,000 and some gave more than that.
There are other such examples, and they do it in a professional manner. In some cases, a representative of the estate would pay at the hospital and given a receipt for accountability.
But where people are exposed just so that people would know and pray for them is the issue here. Anytime I see somebody soliciting for prayers, I would say: ‘Must you expose yourself; can’t your relatives pray for you?’
Moreover, if somebody suggests a contribution for the ailing person, people would not respond. They are only good at lamenting and passing the tale.
I think people should be allowed their dignity and not be a subject of pity and discussions. Their emaciated body should not be exposed for all and sundry. That is the very reason some choose to die silently without the fanfare of social media.
