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        Home»Columnist»The Me-and-My-Family Syndrome Versus Our Collective Fate, By Omole Ibukun
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        The Me-and-My-Family Syndrome Versus Our Collective Fate, By Omole Ibukun

        National RecordBy National RecordJuly 1, 2023No Comments11 Mins Read
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        WHEN the Lekki Massacre happened at the climax of the #EndSARS protests, a funny trend surfaced on Twitter – Me and My family. The ‘Me and My Family’ trend during the Lekki Massacre somehow shifted the blame onto the victims of the massacre themselves. By praying for personal protection, we were suggesting that those who experienced police brutality were somehow unworthy or undeserving of divine intervention. This moral twist highlights a dangerous tendency to absolve ourselves of any collective responsibility for addressing systemic issues.

        “Presently, the fuel price is about N550 and going to N700, according to fuel marketers. A bag of cement is now between N3,600 naira and N3,900. Whether domestic or imported rice, a bag of rice is now between N32,000 and N40,000. Can we not see that our situation is now way past waiting on the ‘Grace of God’ upon us and our family members? Did the Bible not ask us to add work to our faith? How long will we adapt? While I think our resilience in the face of adversity as a people is actually commendable, we should not stretch it to the point of using it to justify complacency or inaction.”

        Instead of standing in solidarity with the victims, many Nigerians succumbed to a self-centred mindset, that undermined that movement. This deeply ingrained self-centeredness not only perpetuates the cycle of injustice but it also hampers the progress of this country. I know this self-centred exists in every other part of the world where humans exist but I think is important to talk about the extreme brand we display in this country,

        When Tinubu won the obviously-rigged 2023 presidential elections, the same Twitter trend evolved and became “This administration will favor ME AND MY FAMILY in Jesus’ name.” Despite the common knowledge that Tinubu was on a self-aggrandised mission, based on his personal antecedents and his campaign manifesto, Nigerians shifted their attention to their own folks, not caring what happens to other people. This dangerous disregard for the welfare of fellow citizens shows that most of us are not so different from the leaders we criticise and we somewhat deserve them for now, until we change our mindset or worldview.

        As Tinubu started rolling out anti-people policies like hikes in fuel prices and gradual devaluation of the naira, this trend evolved further into people sharing a familiar traditional Christian song, titled: ‘By The Grace of God I Shall Win This Battle’, on their social media. “If they like, let them sell a bag of rice for ten thousand naira N10,000 (by the Grace of God) the Children of God must survive… and even sell a bag of cement for three thousand naira (N3,000), the children of God must surely survive….Let them also raise a little of fuel for two hundred naira, the children of God most high must definitely survive it,” and the lyrics of the song go on like that.

        Presently, the fuel price is about N550 and going to N700, according to fuel marketers. A bag of cement is now between N3,600 naira and N3,900. Whether domestic or imported rice, a bag of rice is now between N32,000 and N40,000. Can we not see that our situation is now way past waiting on the ‘Grace of God’ upon us and our family members? Did the Bible not ask us to add work to our faith? How long will we adapt? While I think our resilience in the face of adversity as a people is actually commendable, we should not stretch it to the point of using it to justify complacency or inaction.

        “As a student activist, I was victimised for standing up to fight fee increment and fight for free education and the victimisation was handed down by mid-level management officials who thought that their children would not need to be educated in Nigeria, so there is no reason to fight for free and quality education. The same officials could not afford to send their children to UK or US to study like the top politicians, so they settled for enrolling their children in Study-in-Ukraine programs. When the Russia-Ukraine War broke out last year, their children had to walk on foot to Poland, before getting airlifted back to Nigeria. It was about them and their family, but it was also about Nigeria and the rest of the world.”

        But this evolving trend made me realise that a lot of people do not care about others enough to probe into the cause of oppression because of their lack of empathy and a narrow focus on their own personal well-being, and this leads them to become oppressors themselves. They only care about the effect of oppressiveness on them and on them alone. I do not have a problem with personal fulfilment and individualism but it seems that Nigerians are stuck with hyper-individualism. Life has thought me that collective individualism is the only way to find what’s best for the individual and what’s best for the collective at one and the same time. I learned four major worldview lessons over my past 10 years of activism:

        1) Freedom is not a gift. It’s a survival need. It is not a gift that can be given to us by external forces; it is an inherent and fundamental human need.

        2) Freedom must always start as a DIY (Do-It-Yourself) project and in the process become a community project with the meeting of like minds. True freedom cannot be achieved in isolation. It requires the collective dismantling of oppressive systems. It must begin as a personal quest, driven by the desire for autonomy and self-determination but it is only by pooling our knowledge, resources, and experiences together that we can amplify our voices and dismantle the structures that perpetuate our oppression.

        3) No one and group of people is self-sufficient. We will always need others as long as they exist in our world. We are interconnected beings, relying on one another for survival, growth, and fulfilment. Recognising our interdependence is a fundamental step towards dismantling our hyper-individualism and creating a society that thrives on mutual care and solidarity, rather than one driven solely by self-interest.

        4) There are enough provisions and an abundance of material and mental resources for everyone on this planet to fulfil all of their human needs and maximise every other potential they have, contrary to the scarcity mindset perpetuated by oppressive systems. It is this abundance mentality that we can use to challenge the hoarding of material and mental resources and the unequal distribution of material and mental wealth.

        It is this mindset, corroborated by experiences over the years, that made me realise that the solutions to my problems are beyond me or me and my family. I have witnessed the consequences of this ‘Me-and-My-Family” mindset in various contexts, from the education sector to the healthcare sector, and I have learned that making self-interest the sole goal of one’s life pursuit is somehow elusive.

        “Most people are not genuinely outraged by oppression itself. Instead, they harbour resentment towards their exclusion from the ranks of the oppressors. Their outrage is an illusion. If you give them what society promised them within that oppressiveness, they would stop fighting oppression. That’s why we have turncoats like Oshiomhole, Keyamo, Aregbesola, etc. who were once activists in the struggle against mass poverty and penury but betrayed that struggle once their own personal problem of poverty was solved. It is not equality that they seek, but rather a chance to also benefit from the existing unequal structures. Fighting oppression genuinely requires that you question your own privileges, acknowledge the suffering of others, and actively engage in solidarity and activism. Solidarity is the cornerstone of societal transformation. Your liberation is intrinsically linked to the liberation of others.”

        As a student activist, I was victimised for standing up to fight fee increment and fight for free education and the victimisation was handed down by mid-level management officials who thought that their children would not need to be educated in Nigeria, so there is no reason to fight for free and quality education. The same officials could not afford to send their children to UK or US to study like the top politicians, so they settled for enrolling their children in Study-in-Ukraine programs. When the Russia-Ukraine War broke out last year, their children had to walk on foot to Poland, before getting airlifted back to Nigeria. It was about them and their family, but it was also about Nigeria and the rest of the world.

        Ekweremadu was that top politician in Nigeria who oversaw the dilapidation of the Nigerian healthcare sector but had a daughter who needed a transplant in the UK at some point. He and his wife found themselves in jail in the process of trying to traffic a young boy from Nigeria to use his organ for their daughter. No one is self-sufficient. It was about him and his family, but then it was also about him and the rest of the world. It is even beyond your family and Nigeria. It is about our whole world!

        Most people are not really angry at oppression or oppressiveness. They are angry at the fact that they are not the oppressors. They are angry at the fact that the advantage they were promised by inequality is not materialising. It’s not like they like equality when they see it. They just want to make inequality work. They want to make patriarchy work. Make their own capitalism work. Make their own authoritarianism work! They just want to make privilege and inequality work for them. But evil is still evil, even when it works for you. Good is still good, even when you don’t know how to make it work for you yet.

        “Truly, our history of political corruption, inequality, and systemic injustice has led to this pervasive culture of self-preservation and hyper-individualism. But we have to overcome this mindset, and overcoming it requires a shift towards a collective consciousness that prioritises everyone’s welfare. Recognising that our fates are very interconnected is fundamental to dismantling the structures that perpetuate these social inequalities that made us extremely selfish in the first instance. Now, who will bell the cat and be an example of selflessness, knowing full well that several others relish selfishness?”

        Most people are not genuinely outraged by oppression itself. Instead, they harbour resentment towards their exclusion from the ranks of the oppressors. Their outrage is an illusion. If you give them what society promised them within that oppressiveness, they would stop fighting oppression. That’s why we have turncoats like Oshiomhole, Keyamo, Aregbesola, etc. who were once activists in the struggle against mass poverty and penury but betrayed that struggle once their own personal problem of poverty was solved. It is not equality that they seek, but rather a chance to also benefit from the existing unequal structures. Fighting oppression genuinely requires that you question your own privileges, acknowledge the suffering of others, and actively engage in solidarity and activism. Solidarity is the cornerstone of societal transformation. Your liberation is intrinsically linked to the liberation of others.

        Here, it is important to acknowledge that self-interest, in and of itself, is not inherently immoral. Our desire to pursue our own wellbeing and protect our families is rooted in our natural instinct for survival and love. However, when self-interest becomes one’s sole guiding principle, it can lead to a disregard for the welfare of others. By all means, love your family and pray or wish good things for your loved ones. But don’t forget that you and your folks are not existing as an island of self-sufficiency.

        It is natural to care for our families and work towards their well-being. It is the process of isolating ourselves from the struggles and concerns of others that can have dire consequences on our social fabric. By retreating into the narrow confines of self-sufficiency, we perpetuate a cycle of division and disconnection, and we can only be undefeated when we are organically connected and united.

        Truly, our history of political corruption, inequality, and systemic injustice has led to this pervasive culture of self-preservation and hyper-individualism. But we have to overcome this mindset, and overcoming it requires a shift towards a collective consciousness that prioritises everyone’s welfare. Recognising that our fates are very interconnected is fundamental to dismantling the structures that perpetuate these social inequalities that made us extremely selfish in the first instance. Now, who will bell the cat and be an example of selflessness, knowing full well that several others relish selfishness?

        Comrade Ibukun writes from Abuja, Nigeria and he can be contacted on 09167636201

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